How to Be Friends with Your Ex

shutterstock_120671335-850x400Breakups are difficult by nature, but when you and your significant other were friends first the end of the relationship can be even more devastating. While it’s difficult to maintain a friendship with someone you’ve dated it isn’t impossible. Here are some things to keep in mind when trying to salvage a friendship from a breakup.

  1. Honesty is essential. In order to be friends with an ex you must be honest about your feelings with yourselves and with each other. You must work through the issues that ended your relationship in the first place. You also must be honest about why you want to maintain a friendship. Does your ex offer qualities that other friends don’t bring to the table, or are you desperately trying to hold on to the relationship? If the former is true then maintaining a friendship with your ex could lead to disappointment and heartache.
  2. Let some time pass between the end of the relationship and the renewal of the friendship. Time will give you the healing and perspective you need to see your situation clearly and determine whether or not there’s a friendship left to salvage.
  3. DO NOT HAVE SEX!! Once you’ve rekindled a friendship with an ex it can be easy to fall back into old habits with them. But your relationship ended for a reason. Resuming a sexual relationship with an ex will accomplish nothing but reopening old wounds. For an after-relationship friendship to be successful it must be platonic.